Human life, based on holism is derived and woven more than our physical, emotional, and spiritual self, it is influenced also by societal, economic, intellectual, sexual, and other relativities. No one part of its own brings to light who we are; they are woven to create our unique tapestry. This blog delves into holism through the imperative lens of sexual and sensual embrace during pregnancy, labour and giving birth. Viewed not solely from the physical perspective, but the deeply embedded connection to intimate love.
Relationships that do not explore subconscious dialogues are very risky, bringing personal insecurities into play. Hidden behind states of judgement or fear of rejection lurks the murkiness of formidable boundary setting. The potential to fully love and disclose our creative, vibrant, and curious nature is deeply hidden within. When our playful spirit of wonder and fun is chastised and the self-conscious is allowed to rule, our energetic heart-centred love closes and arousal diminishes. However, when we surrender fully into unrestrained love, our aura of intimacy reaches our lover. The awe of what we are experiencing extends our willingness to express confidence beyond the mind. Releasing the brain and sinking into the innermost pleasure we connect with our deepest instincts, linking ourselves to the primitive aspects in the embodiment of the human being. Being truly vulnerable in the sense of choosing to open ourselves to express and experience not only the physical but the emotional response to love releases hormones; chemical messengers that have profound effects on us women. The hormone oxytocin is incredibly significant. Oxytocin, “the love hormone”, makes us feel good and it’s highest levels are present when we make love, when we are fertile and ovulating, and when we are in labour and breastfeeding.
During pregnancy, a female’s oxytocin levels gradually increase as she nears term. Being in a relaxed state, knowing she is supported and being loved is hugely beneficial from pre-labour through to birth. Oxytocin release initiates the surges that commence, establish and complete labour. A female infused with the energy of love and human contact fluidly allows messages to flow to her pituitary gland and in response, her oxytocic levels increase appropriately.
As the surges strengthen, her cervix, the gateway to birth opens fully. This is the portal through her pelvis that the baby traverses in the passage of birth.
Amazing changes occur quickly when couples have their own loving space together. The key is to keep a labouring and birthing female in a state of loving calm, where she holds her confidence as the power of birth increases. She naturally moves into an altered state of consciousness between the worlds of cosmic and human life at the very edge of the birth-death experience, where we enter and from where we leave our life. Sexual stimulation if needed and desired, can facilitate the progress of labour and if it heightens to orgasm the energy in the uterus can rapidly open the cervix. Birth does not require such heightened ecstasy to achieve this powerful response, many women respond just as potently to loving words and touch from their partners. Trust and follow her. She knows what she needs.
Equally, a partner withdrawing is counterproductive. Without close support the female is most likely to become more fearful, entering her fight or flight response. This results in an insufficient release of oxytocin, less frequent surges and slower labour due to surging levels of adrenaline and cortisol. This delay, often termed ‘slow progress’ is commonly ‘treated’ in modern obstetrics with artificial Syntocinon or Pitocin by IV drip to increase the oxytocin levels. Where labour is in its natural flow women are able to release their birthing hormones, however, a woman’s pain response to fear may result in her feeling labour is unbearable calling for pain relief. An epidural if used often depresses the physiological process, and begins the ongoing cascade of other interventions.
A female needs to trust her instincts and keep in flow with her innate body rhythms. Using her body to move, dance and sway her baby can position itself directly onto her cervix for dilation, rotate into position and with her powerful surges descend through her yoni to birth.
If required, intimacy with her loved partner will increase the surges of love hormones, bringing labour and birth surges into a rhythm. You cannot give birth or make love if your body is rigid and controlled if you are watched, touched, and monitored as if unwell. In such conditions, paralysis ensues in labour or birth. Babies are less able to move down the birth passage if their mother is in a state of paralysis. Potentially seen as her running out of energy or her baby being perceived as distressed as her fear hormones elevate, increases the potential of an instrumental birth. Rather than coaching her to a place of quiet intimacy with the person she truly loves and feels safe with, disempowering words, watchful eyes and the intrusive hands of birth attendants can lead to outcomes of intervention.
Yes, there will be sweat, moans, gasps, rolling eyes and moving hips, surging between heightened energy and gentle quiet. But reassuring directive softness from a loving partner and at the appropriate times, her care-provider(s) can calm her space. Coming to birth is like coming to orgasm. It requires power, the brain and mind are at rest beneath the body’s instinctive pleasures.